Obstacles

Obstacles by nature are items/things that are in your path/view.  Physical obstacles are obvious, like hurdles.   Emotional or mental obstacles are not so obvious.  And yet all obstacles although difficult to circumvent are not impossible to beat.  Fear can be an enormous deterrent to reaching the end of the road and yet that same fear can push us to greater heights, it is also a great motivator.    It is how we view the obstacle that is key.  What is our attitude?  What is our perception?  Can we jump the hurdle?  Can we take a detour?  Do we need assistance or can we do it alone?  The nature of life is to look at each hurdle in our path and pre-determine whether we can get over it or not.  This initial assessment can either aid or hinder.  It depends on any pre-conceived ideas we may have as well as previous experiences.  Then there is courage and determination.  How many times do we continue to circumvent an obstacle before we quit?  We often hear stories of people who succeed despite impossible odds.  Why do we feel we are different.  Why do we often find ourselves turning our backs on our obstacles?

In relationships there are many obstacles of varying degrees.  We contend with extended family, different experiences in childhood, differing cultures, religions, traditions.  We contend with exposure to different ideals and priorities.  One family may focus on income and affluence, while another may focus on love and culture.  These exposures and experiences are obstacles enough, but there are other hurdles that are more damaging.  One of these is the belief that you are not appreciated by your partner.  This can be felt by both partners in an otherwise equal partnership.  The irony is, with most partners, there is a defined role for each.  I recall the story of the husband and stay at home wife.  He felt that he worked hard all day and she did nothing.  She felt he did not realise how much work she actually did.  They ended up swopping roles for a day, the end result that each appreciated the other more.  This is so true.  Even though roles have merged, it takes two individuals to work toward a partnership.  Each has their own role to play.  The danger is that each can focus on how under appreciated they are and so end up feeling un-loved and under valued.  This can end in disaster.  The reality is that if each focuses on showing the other how appreciated they are then this obstacle will be removed.

The only way past a hurdle of this nature is to study it from all sides.  Focus on the solution rather than the insurmountable odds.  Decide at the outset what the outcome is that you would prefer.  Once you have determined what the desired outcome is and once you have studied the obstacle from all sides, then a solution will appear.  We are logical beings.  When we stop long enough to study objectively, then the solutions appear.  Our species has survived through the ages against all odds.  We can still overcome!

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