If we have ideals and values how do we stick to them during our daily lives? Do we bend and sway with every gust that threatens to tear us down? When we experience adverse situations we often react contrary to what we believe or profess to believe. If I were to ask the question, most people would answer that they believe that they are good people. Most people believe that they treat others well. Of course, there are those that just don’t care. Those people would not be reading this type of blog.
The rest of us, when we act contrary to our ethos usually have reasons for doing so. I think that, no matter what the reason, the reason should never be an excuse. The fact is that when we react to a situation, we often escalate it and create a dramatic interlude as opposed to a momentary glitch.
An illustration is an experience I had a few years ago. We had parked our car unwittingly in a spot that a gent was trying to use to reverse his car. We had no idea until we had stepped out of our vehicle. He blind sided us with the most appalling language. My niece was present, so my sister asked him to refrain from using that language. He threw more abuse and h opted into his car to derive away. I then gave in to my temper, I reacted, and kicked the tyre. Unfortunately,as I did so, my shoe flew off an hit his car. He then got out of his vehicle again and ran to my husband, accused him and kicked the door of the car, causing a dent. He tried to drive off then, but was stopped briefly by my husband who stood in front of his car. The man then tried to drive off, hit my husbands shins and he then hung onto the bonnet while the man drove off. A security guard stopped him long enough for my husband to get off and the poor security man was injured when the man drove off again. In all honesty, and with hindsight, that entire incident could have ended before I gave in to my anger. This is an extreme event, but it is an illustration of how things can escalate if we let go of our ethos just for a brief moment. I had reason, he was abusive to my husband and sister, but I caused greater damage by my actions.
There can be huge consequences and there can be smaller, but at the end of the day how much do we lose when we are lead by our negative passions. Time, happiness, money, life.
How do we prevent these situations from getting the better of us? The old adage says, think before you speak. Count to ten. Religious people may say that you should pray. Those suggestions do help, but perhaps it is better to look at yourself, examine yourself, decide who you really are. Find strength in knowing what you believe. Feel it. Then, go out there and examine every action. Does it fit who you are? If not, change it next time. Practice again and again. Then, when faced with a more intense situation you may know yourself well enough to feel your negative passion, acknowledge it and then act according to your belief. The event will fizzle and you will be the better for it. Now imagine if every person in the world would do the same. Perhaps then the world would be a happier, healthier place.